There is one photo of my Mom that will always play loud in my heart. She’s on a swing, in full 70’s gear, with long, bright blonde locks swinging. In that image I can see not just her. But my Dad’s (the photographer) love for her. I feel so strongly that my daughters will feel and see the same when they see the images that Charlie snaps for me. That my smile is as authentic as they remember, and that his love is palpable through a picture. Of me mothering. Moving. Laughing. Being. Charlie captures me in a way that no one else would be capable of. And lately, it’s really making me feel the love.
Charlie loves me. Loves me so much. But often, his ways of loving me don’t always translate into the way’s that I feel love (it comes back to that good old Love Language book, always!). We’re working on it. I’m working on touch, on time, on words. He’s working on actions, on ways that let me know he thought of me even when I wasn’t there. But there is a way I am feeling so loved lately, that no book taught us.
He’s always been an awful photographer (his own admission!). Over the past few months, though, he stopped just clicking the camera icon a few times, or taking my million directions, and started asking me questions. Shutter speed? Light? F-Stop? How do I change the meter? He started to learn.Beginning to care about adjusting light. About waiting. About the right moment.
And it may be a small, or weird, or possibly a blogger specific thing. But seeing myself, through his literal lens, is making me feel so loved. So full up. He often tells me he loves me. That he thinks I’m beautiful. And I feel so lucky. But getting to see that come through-it’s like witnessing a little magic for my heart. It surprises me every time.
“Is this how you see me?”
Yes, a million times over.
It also isn’t just about the photos as it is about his willingness to learn about something wholly outside of his comfort zone, for my benefit. And shifting beyond that. Not just doing it when I need it, but because he is growing to love it. And love what a gift is is to me.
Finding new ways to love your partner, showing them that love, and having it translate is incredible, and I believe it is a crucial part of a successful love. We aren’t stagnant, we’re always changing and growing, evolving and learning. I’m a different person than my husband married, as is he. It’s heartbreak and a miracle to think of the selves we’ve left along the way to find the people we are right now. This season of deepening our love past what I ever thought possible is such a gift for our whole family.
If there is something you can give to your partner that would speak volumes to them that you have yet to reach, go for it. It took many years before Charlie put all pride at being “good at” something aside to just embrace the learning. It’s taken far too long for me to put aside my insecurities, fears and anxieties of being photographed “poorly” to just be Me for him, and it’s given to both of us.
A big thanks to Prana for these gorgeous clothes; That I can move in. Be loved in. Be me in. And feel beautiful in. I’m wearing the Juniper Pant (the wild and amazing print!) and the Filament Top (stripes!). Both are true to size (I’m a medium in case you need a frame of reference!), the pants are a hair long for me (I’m 5’4), but so thick and comfy that I don’t care. I have taken these pants and top on a 16 hour road trip, my first public teaching experience, yoga at the beach and in the studio, and on an adventure through Portland! They passed the “comfy, cute, moveable” test in every scenario!
I received these clothes to review, but as always, all thoughts and options here are my own.