Tonight is the full moon, last month was the eclipse, and it just feels like the whole community is reeling with change and new.
September is the time for transition. It’s back to school, end of summer, new jobs, new decisions, and with that comes so much change.
I’m reminding myself on the daily that even when new petals have grown on my succulents the old ones are still hanging on. They begin to weaken before they fully fall off. And here I am. The new is undeniable; I’m currently sitting and working in a coffee shop. I’m sans babies. Today at school there was a full hour where both my girls were in their classes, ecstatic, and I had. . . not much to do. Today I met with a studio in town, yesterday I did the same, and tomorrow I will again. I’m putting out my feelers for Work. With a capitol (I’ll be gone) W.
But the old is still there. The petals of “but will they need me?”, “are they ready for me to be gone sometimes?” the dry leaves of “Dinner will be on Charlie?” and the falling leaves of “It won’t be just me doing the homeschooling?”
All the while the new growth is baby bright and reaching to the light, those old thoughts and experiences are still there, about ready. And I don’t know how to let them fall.
I’ve been meditating, thinking, journaling, and talking. . . a lot. And these are the 3 things I’ve stumbled into that have been helping ease the change.
- Talk about it. And let it be unfinished. You’re at the beginning of a chapter, that’s ok. It’s so easy to feel like we need a bow at the end, or to somehow make the conversation all wrapped up. . . even when we are smack dab in the middle of it. So, instead, give that a try. Know who your people are, who do you trust, who loves you. Talk to them about all the hanging petals, fears, and ‘but. . .what it?’ and don’t hesitate to let those hang as long as they need.
- Whenever you have the bravery and ability to Do the Change. Do The Change. Like tonight, it would have been easier to head back home, rush to keep my time away as short as possible (like I usually would), but I knew that tonight I could (really) use an extra hour after my appt. to get some research done for my training (tonight I’ve been reading about how Yoga can help kiddos with Sensory Processing Disorder, and it’s INCREDIBLE). When you feel the open door, walk on through.
- Don’t down play down time. It’s ok if your new job/transition/kid in school leaves you with sudden blank space. Down time is important, soak it up. And conversely, if your new shift has removed some downtime, it’s ok to say No to commitments, and make new space for yourself.
These three small, big, things are all helping me to muddle through a transition. I’m on the edge of a new normal, big announcements, a lot of excitement, and a whole new life and stage for my family. But right now? I’m waiting for my thoughts to catch up, my endings to end and beginnings to start. And in between is rough. But it’s also where I am feeling so much growth.
So here’s to all of us, in the middle, the beginnings, and end. Transition and the fullness of this moon. It’s magic and growth, new shoots and old leaves, all living in one big breath.