I was on a walk through a trail above our local university campus, the girls were climbing rocks and tossing stones, Charlie was bouldering an old tunnel space, and I had one of those sun-break moments where you feel something strong. I’ve had a handful of these in my life (most notably was when I felt compelled, in the strongest way, that I had to have a second baby) and each a bit different in intensity. This one was a soft, PNW 60 degree sun break. When you finally feel like Spring might come, Winter may end, and the VitaminD does funny things to your mood. I felt like “one day, I will be a yoga teacher.” and it was the first time a job, more schooling/training, and an outside the home endeavor even sounded appealing to me. The winter, cozy-long-seed planting, of parenting was lifting, 7 years in, and I felt Spring on my heart.
I asked Charlie to snap a photo of me in an ill positioned mermaid pose, and I spoke the words to him. I told him my weird, quiet, probably would never happen, real awkward feeling to admit, Sun Break Feeling. “I think I want to be a yoga teacher. ” and he looked at me and said “sure! You’d be great at that!” and that was all of it.
Somehow from there it tumbled into place. A periphiral long term friend saw an offhand post of mine about being maybe-sorta-down the line-interested in becoming a yoga teacher and sent me a phone snapshot of an advertisement for a Teacher Training with nothing but an email to go on. I reached out, and the rock went quicker down the hill. A few months later training began, and now three years after that sun-burst feeling, I have been teaching yoga several times a week for over a year.
And it feels like magic. Working feels like a gift. Relying on friends, Charlie, and my own ingenuity to make it work feels empowering. Working outside of the home has given me gifts I wasn’t ready for, and have been wholly caught off guard by.
A month prior to this revelation I had zero inclination to leave the house for work. I had no plans. No dream for this. And no Big Idea for how I’d one day make money. I had some hopes, I have a perpetual sun-beam for book writing, but I was fully content. Till I wasn’t.
All of this to say, if you’re feeling it. In some way, today, Jump. The adage of start before you’re ready is spot on.
My teaching is going. But it’s far from great. Classes are tiny. Marketing is tough. My training is unending. My hopes and dreams for my practice, my business, and what I am capable of helping facilitate is BIG and feeling far off. But, I’m doing it. I’m loving it. I’m feeling strong, capable, and confident.
I felt the same spark for creating a podcast. So I did it. It’s low tech. There is no intro recording. I am learning editing as I go. The tech is. . . low. But the words? Ones I’m passionate about sharing. The feedback? So far, pretty a-okay.
Just start.
Today the sun came back in Bellingham and I felt that burst-rush of memory from the day I really felt like I could be at teacher. And it filled me up with excitement for al the big dreams I know are out there. Mine, your’s, my husbands. Todays the Day.
Leave a Reply